What? I have a blog?

What? I have a blog? And it needs to be updated regularly? Wow...no updates since September 27th? Sad. I'm back now and hopefully with the new "ideas" I'm coming up with for this little blog, I'll incentivize (is that even a word?)...give myself motivation...to update it more frequently.

Let's get down to business. There is so much to say. Warning: This will be random. Going back and forth between meaningful and meaningless topics.

October - December was hectic. Lots of work. Lots of studying. Lots of "life" going on. And just to give you a little example...some of you know I was doing some Scripture memorization last year...here are some of my verses that were on my memory list toward the end of the year:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." ~Matthew 11:28
"But the LORD said to him, "Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die." ~Judges 6:23

Totally serious. With everything that was going in the last quarter of the year, I just needed the Lord to remind me that HE will give me rest and that my "problems" will not kill me! And who couldn't use another reminder from God telling us to not be afraid?

Anyway, the mini-marathon went well in October. My time was not the best, in fact it was the slowest out of all the ones I've done so far--2 hr. and 37 min. or something like that. I think the times are supposed to improve a little more each time, but oh well. We'll get to some other insights I've had lately about running / exercise in just a minute.

Thanksgiving & Christmas were awesome. Not to mention my 3rd semester of grad school! I can hardly believe that one whole year is complete--and only one and a half to go! Feels like I just started yesterday. Grades turned out pretty well--A's and B's...about the best one could ask for given a demanding job that is constantly nagging for my attention. Oh and life creeping up from time-to-time. The perfectionist inside me wanted straight A's of course, but the weary little soul responded with "I did the best I could, and A's and B's are good enough this time." So, it's settled. I'm happy with the grades.

I also got to take off about a week and a half from work! For 10 whole days, it was no school, no work, no BlackBerry...just me, and my family, and friends...and God. I didn't realize how much my brain, my heart, and my body needed the time off, away from Indy, and back at home. Even though I was "off" I still felt as busy as ever--the good kind of busy though--you know, the kind where you're playing catch-up? Meeting lots of people, finding out what's been going on in the last 6 months, what the new year holds...that kind of "good-busy." Made me miss Louisville a lot, but nevertheless felt so incredibly thankful for the people who are in my life.

Some friends and I started "Breaking Free"--a Bible study written by Beth Moore, one of the most inspiring people I know. God put me in the middle of a tidal wave of His Word and washed me from head to toe with it. One word: amazing. I can't even begin to talk about everything I have learned, so I will highlight the most important lessons:

• God is more interested in having a personal relationship with me, than just watching me go through the motions "for Him". I heard the term "season of aloneness" used recently and it really resonated with me. At the time I heard it, I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me. That's what I think God is doing with me! I believe God is starting me off in 2010 in a "season of aloneness" for a couple of reasons:

1. Reason #1: To depend on Him, and Him alone. 2009 was a roller-coaster ride for me. So many things happened, half of which I didn't even mention on this blog, but all of which God ordained perfectly according to His plan. Many of the things, I do not have the "why" answer to yet, and if/when I do, I will certainly share! One thing with which this Breaking Free study deeply convicted me was "prayerless lives are powerless lives." Prayer. Talking to God. I realized that I didn't really do much of that in 2009. Sure prayed some, here and there, but truly only when I felt like I "needed" to. Didn't trust God with my inmost thoughts, worries, fears, problems, even though He already knew them. I didn't take the time, energy, trust, to spell it all out for Him. Instead I depended more on my family and friends to "get me through". Let me be very clear. I love...love...LOVE my family & friends and would do anything for them, but they can't save me or anyone from all fears, worries, or problems. Only Jesus can. Halleujiah.
   
2. Reason #2: "God is ever so gently letting some of my fears come true, so that I discover I won't disintegrate." ~Beth Moore. Lonliness is one of my fears! I think it is for a lot of people, especially women. And I believe the purpose in God "letting this happen" in my life is so that I learn to seek Him, find Him, and practice depending on Him, and Him alone. For that reason, this verse struck a chord in me: "From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us." ~Acts 17:26-27.
   
3. Bonus Reason #3: I think God might be making up for lost time. :-) Seriously, I think this is true! Just think...if you didn't talk to a close friend for a while, wouldn't you want some concentrated time alone with him/her to rekindle your friendship? I guess you could say the Almighty and I are rekindling our relationship...and boy has it been more rewarding than anything else...ever!
   

[highlights / lessons from the study continued...]

• God love us, unconditionally. Do you realize that? Since the beginning of time...all of us...more unconditional love than we can fathom to go around. He loves, no matter what. I'll admit, I'm still not comfortable with the whole thing yet. I forget it frequently, but I am starting to believe it and more importantly, accept it. Here is something that encouraged me: "...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." ~Ephesians 3:16-19. "Surpasses knowledge"....God knew we wouldn't be able to comprehend this in our little human brains!
  
• He is sovereign. Because He loves us unconditionally...because He is love...anything He does from His own power is for our good...to build us up...never to condemn us. That's His character...to always do what is BEST for us.
  
• The enemy prowls around like a lion (1 Peter 5:8). 'nuf said.
  

Somewhat related to this, I've had some new insights about exercising lately. My new "thing" I'm doing to take care of my body is Pilates! I haven't run a single mile since mid November. I've been a Pilates maniac. Did you know that Pilates is all about working your core? (core = stomach / abs). Core. Core. I couldn't help but make the connection to my spiritual core. I sensed God directing me to work on my spiritual core as well. Not just go through a whole bunch of motions (i.e., run a whole bunch of miles on the treadmill), although running is a very good thing; but I believe in this season of my life, He's leading me to strengthen my core. So, spiritually and physically...that's what I'm doing! This was a pretty big insight for me, especially since I valued running so much. Not to say I'll never run again! It's just on hold, until further notice.

This year has gotten off to an amazing start. I am soooo thankful God let me catch my breath from last year and is now sending me in the right direction. (Psalm 23: 3 MSG).

On a different note, there are some exciting aesthetic changes coming to this blog (hopefully soon!). Stay tuned...and I will do my best...my *very best* to update more. As I'm writing this, I'm actually wondering why I don't blog more often, because this was a GREAT use of the last hour for me!

Ta-ta for now. :-)