names

I love monogrammed things.  T-shirts, bags, jackets, backpacks, keychains, you name it, if it has my initials--or even better, my whole name--then I get really excited.  Don't know why - maybe it's because I never found souvenir keychains or mugs with "Poorna" on it as a kid, so now as an adult, I try to compensate by collecting items with my name or initials engraved.  That's random thing #1 - I promise, this has to do with the larger theme of my blog post!

Secondly, I'm getting "adopted"!  Not by some strange family (don't worry), but by my step-dad (whom I often refer to as "dad"), who has been a father to me for the past 17 years.  We're making the whole thing "legal".  Even though my step-dad has played the father figure for just about as long as I can remember, apparently, "in court", there is a certain level of formality that is needed to "officially" make him the father.  I cannot even express to you how excited I am about this.  This is an incredible accomplishment...a true milestone in my family's history.  After almost 17 years since migrating to this country, living  life as a blended family in the pit, and persevering through a roller coaster of problems, we are still one family (with a new addition--bro-in-law!).  Sure, we may be five broken people, with some issues of our own, but we are still one family.  No matter how much we don't see eye-to-eye on matters, no matter how impatient we each get with each other, no matter how much we may let each other down, we will stick together.  No matter what.  All this, thanks to my dad, the man who has fearlessly put his own desires aside humbly led this family.  I cannot wait to make this adoption "legal"!  

Also, I should mention that along with the process also comes his last name. :)   That means that once the adoption papers are signed and this whole gig is effective, I will no longer be "Poorna Ramakrishnan,"  but I will be "Poorna Diaz."  WHOA.  18 letters to 10.  Am I going to miss the other letters?  Most certainly not.  Again, I am ecstatic, elated, joyful, and SUPER PUMPED about this!  Will it be a pain to change all my papers?  (And I mean ALL - passport, mortgage, bank, credit cards, license, work, school, FACEBOOK (aah!) etc...).  Sure, it will be a ton of work.  But the work is nothing compared to how much happiness this gesture will bring to my dad.  From my perspective, it's totally worth it.

You should know that 14 years ago, if you told me that in 14 years, I would be getting adopted and take on my step-dad's last name, I would've laughed at you in the face and bet you all my baby-sitting money that you were wrong.  And alas, I would've lost that bet.  I never, EVER thought this would happen.  Ever.  But I have a hunch that God did.

Here is why:

This is a picture of the Bible I got 14 years ago when I was baptized, July 15th, 1995.  (July 15th happens to be my dad's birth date, by the way!)  When I got this Bible in the mail as a baptism gift from my church, I was SO bummed.  My very first engraved item and they got my name wrong!  They assumed my last name was "Diaz" like my parents and didn't realize that it was different.  This was an utter disappointment  for me.  I used this Bible maybe a couple of times, but no more than that.  It's lived in my closet, in a cardboard box, and on my bookshelf, all by its lonesome the past decade and a half.  Until recently...

You see, when I was sitting and actually absorbing all this news about the adoption and my name changing soon and this Bible popped into my brain.  I remembered this had "Poorna Diaz" on it - my soon-to-be new name.  My mind was flooded with thoughts about how I had written off this Bible, as something "I could never use," a "mistake," the "product of a mess-up" because in my mind, I would never be a "Diaz."  I was just so sure that wasn't going to happen.  14 years later, this Bible is now one of my most cherished possessions because (a) it's engraved - see random thing #1 above!) and (b) my NEW name is engraved.  It is no longer a mistake!  

Side note: Is it perhaps, also God's humor that my very first engraved item with my new name is a Bible?  Is He telling me something?  Maybe trying to remind me to always remember Psalm 119:105 ("Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path.").

Tell me, do you think God knew what He was doing 14 years ago?  Do you think He knew it would all turn out like this?  Was he just preparing me for what is to come?  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  I most definitely think so.  Isn't that too cool?

This whole experience has taught me never to write-off ANYTHING as a mistake; never to write-off anything as being hopeless.  Whether it's certain people, situations, circumstances, there is hope in everything.  Even when we don't see it, God is orchestrating it as part of His bigger, mightier plan.  In the different facets of my life, I am finding that He is bringing new life where there was sorrow, light where there was darkness, and hope where there was fear.  And once again, His promise holds true...

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." ~Ez. 36:26