changing the tune on my iPod

I like changing songs on my iPod. When a song comes on, to which I don't know the words, or one I don't like, I gently tap the ">>|" on the click wheel, and just like that, I'm onto the next one. I also like creating play lists, listening to random songs, I even like to pick just one genre and let the iPod play all songs that fall under that genre.

I started running again on Tuesday, in an effort to train for a half-marathon in Philly in September. Tuesday was only day 1, mind you; I'm just building up to a "normal" 5k. Tuesday was a successful 2 miles at a 11-minute-mile pace!

Something occurred to me when I was on the treadmill (imagine that). I try to manage my life like I manage my iPod. When I don't like the current season (or song in this case) that's playing on my iPod of life, I try to fast forward. I like to try and create virtual play lists and plan when certain events (genres) will play out in my life. So, far it hasn't worked well for me, in life, and in running for that matter.

I was in a "country" mood on Tuesday. I decided I would listen to Carrie Underwood. Within a couple of songs, I got bored, with unfamiliarity--I didn't know the words, didn't like the beat, wanted something more peppy. I felt something in me saying, "Just let it play out, Poorna." So, I did. This is when God's Spirit overtook me in a MIGHTY way. When I let the song play out, I started to pay more attention to the lyrics and less attention to my fleeting thoughts; more attention to my posture and form, and less attention to the slow beat; more attention to my breathing, and less attention to the pain. And it reminded me - this can also be what happens in life. If I let the song (or a genre), which God has on deck for me, play out in its time, I can pay attention to the lyrics (what He's saying to me...) rather than my own vain imaginations....more attention to my heart's posture rather than the timing of the season, more attention to keeping myself afloat and breathing with His word, rather than focusing on the shin splints itself. And boy do the shin splints HURT at the beginning...

Here are some of the lyrics to the song I was complaining about:

"I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye."

Starts with Goodbye, by: Carrie Underwood

Some people know that I have been going through somewhat of a difficult season in my life - not anything health-related, just one particular issue at work. The job, which I'm in now, is the hardest, most challenging thing I've ever had to do. I'm talking high-pressure, stress, and everything else that comes with it. But also the most rewarding. I love it, but there are parts of it, which left me wondering, why God would allow certain things to happen. Then, very tenderly, God pointed it out....

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." ~James 1:2-4 (MSG)

Ok, ok - back to the song...so I think Carrie is singing about a break-up....that is NOT what I related the lyrics to!!! Unfortunately, hurt & tears can come from things other than a break-up! They are all inevitable when you deal with people. So, I thanked God for these lyrics at just the right time, and for ever-so-gently reminding me that yes, in this world I will have trouble (John 16:33), there will be hurt, yes I may have to cry, may have a breakdown or two or three, but there will also be an end to it...that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh (Ecc. 3:4)...and a time to move on.

As if that wasn't enough. Then, I ran for another few minutes and I was all of a sudden at the home stretch - and guess what song came on? "Lessons Learned" - also by Carrie....

The words themselves..."lessons learned"...have been on my mind the past week, as the particular issue I referenced above has finished its course, and allowed me to reach the light at the end of that tunnel. So, while it's truly time for me to move on (YAY!!!), I'm also doing some reflecting on what I learned about myself through the entire thing.

I have to tell you, this was one of my favorite songs in 2007 while I was training for my first mini-marathon. Now, four years later, still one of my favorites by her, but my life application of the song is so different. Here is the video with lyrics for your enjoyment.

***Note: The first 22 seconds of this video is an advertisement, I didn't know how to get the link to start at the right time - so please fast forward 22 seconds to the start of Lessons Learned if you don't want to watch the ad. :)



I can tell you that through the past few months of this issue, I have done my best to seek God through it all - have fallen more times than I'd like to admit...and tried to take control on my own...but always found my way back to seeking Him. And what 2 Chronicles 16:9a says is absolutely true, "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." The more I sought Him out, the more He strengthened me.

Whew, just thinking about the situation wears me out. I'm glad that it is over, but also glad that it happened. :)

Off to go run again...